Tonight I am in a pretty foul mood, so you, my darling readers, can be the recipients of my venting. I’m sure many of you have been in the exact situation, but I’ll just tell you the basics, rather than what ticked me off…
I am fed up to the brim of supposed friends being completely childish, rude, harsh, and just unnecessarily getting you down. Why. Why do you feel the need to bring me down, just as I’m starting to feel better. Every week, every bloody day I just get crap from people I think are my friends. I’ve actually had enough. If you think I’m a worthless piece of nothing, at least have the balls to say it, don’t cower away, especially when I stick up for myself, and other people stick up for me. Admit it, be a man!
For those of you that know me, I am quite a forgiving person. I don’t really hold grudges, I get on with most people, and there’s only really 1 or 2 people I physically can’t stand. Otherwise, I don’t want to fall out with friends, because I think they’re too precious to lose. 2 things that I don’t do is steal and lie. Everyone knows it, that’s who I am. If I say something, I say it because I’m not afraid of it being heard, and I won’t lie about it when confronted. I don’t lie, and maybe because of that, I feel extremely betrayed when friends lie to me, so usually if you lie, that’s it, even though I hate losing friends, I can’t stand being lied to.
A few years ago, there was this big craze when quite a lot of people just thought it would be fun to poke fun and cause drama in my life. I seemed to get lot of people making fun of me, making up stories, and just acting like complete 5 year olds to get laughs at my expense. Even if they thought they were harmless jokes, or just a simple comment, it got me down. At first it wasn’t so bad…then it got majorly worse. The close friends I have now understand what I went through, and what it drove me to. The person I became wasn’t a person worth knowing. After a while, it all blew over, but now, every so often, I get a little comment, or something about the past, or just something said about me to make me feel pathetic and insignificant. I don’t understand why it’s such a big thing to make me feel about this high ——
It’s even the little things. Ashleigh, you’re tiny and pathetic, Ashleigh you’re a bitch, Ashleigh I’m gonna smack you now and say you deserved it just for being you, because I know you’ll forgive me. Hey Ashleigh, remember that thing you did. LOL! It’s just pathetic, but maybe because it’s so pathetic, it hurts me more. It reminds me of how I felt all those years ago… I love my friends. My friends and my family are the most valuable people to me, and I treasure them. The few close friends I have now are the ones that are comforting me, telling me the rest of the world is pathetic and I’ve got to ignore it. They’re the ones giving me the same advice I would give them in the exact situation, so to the friends I love, thank you. It’s been a while since I admitted I needed the comfort, so thank you for being there when it got a bit rough.
To the certain few who have made me write this out tonight, you know who the hell you are…leave me alone. Just stop getting together in your little groups and making me the main topic of your discussion, or going on ‘Xbox Live’ and start talking about me, and then coming straight up to my face and pushing me down, because even if it makes you feel all high and mighty, in the end, you’re gonna lose a lot more than I am…
The Two Wallys